Logging Back In

March 31, 2009

If you have been reading this blog at all you know that I went on a Social Media sabbatical in mid- January. I tried to cut myself off from the online world. From Twitter to Facebook to Myspace to Texting and everything in between I quit.

I Googled myself on a regular basis to make sure that I could not be found.

Then, the unexpected happened. My employer got on the Web 2.0 train. Facebook was the topic of many meetings. Administrators started talking about Twitter as if it were some kind of legitimate mode of communicating with our number one follower i.e. our students. Sure, I knew how great Tweets were, but how did THESE PEOPLE?

So, it became apparent a couple of weeks ago that I would surrender and get back online. Then, tonight the truly unthinkable happened. My sweet little boy wanted something and he had “his own money” to buy it, but damn if they let a ten year old have a PayPal account or a credit card. So, eBay here I come. I created a new account and logged back in.

Now, I am truly scared. I have kind of a, well, let’s just say sticky tendency. It is hard for me to do things half ass. After my road trip of solitude this past weekend, and our upcoming pilgrimage to Graceland, I am b-r-o-k-e.

Good or bad, I am logged back in. I will probably go down in a blaze of public glory. See you on You Tube.

… has been unsubscribed

February 3, 2009

Again this morning I got the BLUE SCREEN. There is a Gremlin in my computer for sure. It is only a matter of time now before we part ways and I have to get used to a new one. I am going to fight that. I love this one. We really get a long well and the settings are completely set.

Later, I got serious about the unsubscribing project. I received my usual email from The Algonquin Hotel in Manhattan (you know the one where my favorite author Dorothy Parker used to hang out in The Oak Room and discuss the world with other authors)?

I searched my mind (which took about three seconds) and knew I am never going to The Oak Room. I have also been trying to delete my Trip Advisor profile. Seriously, who am I to advise anyone on a trip? This is a process. Everyday there is a new thing to give up. It is taking a long time. I am impressed at my persistence. Usually, I am such a quitter 🙂

You would think that in my never dying desire to leave every list serve, subscription, group, chat, forum, wiki, log, social network and the like that my computer would be efficient, lean and relatively healthy. So, you can imagine my surprise today when I got the infamous “Blue Screen of Death.”

I was typing a work-related email to a colleague who was not happy with a procedure that I developed to make the world a better place, and the screen appeared. I called the help desk, they told me to shut down, restart and hope for the best. Something odd is afoot, yet I will not retreat. I remember these incredible words

Back in the early 00’s my therapist often told me she was giving me tools for my tool box so that when I know longer saw her I would have these things (i.e. words) I could remember and use in my life to deal with things that bothered me. Eventually, as I often do with positive things, I sabotaged this healthy relationship and started missing appt.’s and ended up sending her a Dear John letter saying I was just too busy with my job to really be able to commit to a weekly 50 minute appt.

But she was good. Now, eight years later, I am remembering a lot of the things she said to me and there is a theme. “I am one among many, no better or worse than anyone else.” and “You wouldn’t care so much what people thought of you if you knew how little they did.” Meaning I am not on the mind of people most of the time – or get over yourself. And this morning, I think that is one thing that was bothering me so much about Facebook. It contradicts what Dr. White drilled into my head. By telling people every little detail, and most of the time our best details such as “I just ran 12 miles with my new best friend I met at a daily reading group where we read to less fortunate orphans and now I am going to work at the homeless shelter before I march for the release of the POW’s in Togo.”

Aren’t we trying to show others that we are better than them? Sure, we are one among many, but we are clearly trying to stand out.

And by doing this aren’t we trying to become top of mind of others?

I know I never put the more interesting parts of my life up there as my headline or status, such as “I left a Toledo bar in a huff in sub zero temperatures in drunken rage certain I could walk to Lansing because I was angry at M for no reason…. darn Riesling.” What would that say about me? Wouldn’t that prove then that I am worse than others?

Maybe I would stick with Facebook and Myspace if we could have some kind of lie detector hooked up to it. Am I really off to do research of customer service in community colleges? Or am I really going to take several detours that would show the kind of person I really am. Maybe a person that would make you delete me as your friend.

Then, we would really be vulnerable. Asking people to make a judgement about what they really think of us, and that sounds a little too much like real life to me.

The goal is bliss.

January 18, 2009

There are things you don’t want to see and some things you don’t want to know. Myspace is like an accident on the side of the road or a freak show at the circus for me i.e. I can’t look away.

Ignorance worked for my parents, or so I thought. The “none of your bees wax” answer is a good one. Pictures, comments, events and relationships…who is back with who… arrgh! I need a myspace vacation, or maybe just a little space.